I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
