how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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