Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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