He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
