I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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