Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble

(1-310): View more from California

Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?

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(914): View more from New York

Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together

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(302): View more from Delaware

She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool

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