You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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