she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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