everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
