2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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