i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
