You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
two words...techno handjob
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
