OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
