I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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