So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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