yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
