white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
