you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
