best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
