She's JV to your varsity
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...