I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...