no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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