how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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