I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
