im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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