so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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