She said her name was "party"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
