I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
