so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
