no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
