Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
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