Plan B is the new Plan A
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
