I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can I color on your dick again?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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