Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
