Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
