What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
