what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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