what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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