is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
