I wanna passion pit in your ass
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
