Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
