just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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