Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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