Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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