Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
