I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
