And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
