I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize