For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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