so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
