Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I currently don't understand fingers.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
