I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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