"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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