We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
only you would photoshop your dick
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
