4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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