i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
