I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
