the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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