Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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