I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
