Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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