I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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