I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Still dying that you shit outside
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
