you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
